Sorry kids, the cookie monster is having a bad day

Does to much optimism make your head hurt, do cheerful people make you grumpy? There may be (fortune cookie related) help for you yet. One fortune cookie company has launched a new line of grouchy cookies. These include cookies saying “It’s over your head now. Time to get some professional help.”

Fortune cookies have always aroused a unique brand of resentment. As long as you carry the slip of paper with you there is the smallest hope that tomorrow will be the day you get promoted. However, when tomorrow dawns, you are inevitably let down. This is probably because the demand for a "large sum of money" or an ambiguous "reward" has far exceeded supply, at least until they can be mass-produced in China.

It is a sign of our jaded society that even the most innocent and fragile delight has been transformed into a vessel of cynicism. But then again, maybe it's a good thing. A good wallow in self-pity inevitably results in a night of reality TV and any food that comes in paper cartons, therefore providing the Chinese food industry with brand loyalty.

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cherry blosson season=invasion of the tourists, a guide for next year

We are sitting in Metro Center a train that has been blocking out view moves out, and behold the sea of tourists! Yes, it's that time of year again, but as long as we have them here why not engage in a little game of tourist spotting.to aid you in your pursuit of this wholesome past-time I have a handy list entitled The Common Attributes Of Tourists.

THE COMMON ATTRIBUTES OF TOURISTS

• They will all stampede towards the middle two metro cars while avoiding the ones on the end like the plague because, as far as they are concerned, the plague is the very thing that the end cars are infested with. (As long as we're on the subject of metros I have a suggestion. The Japanese gave us the trees so, as long as the tree's blossoms are causing this invasion of tourists, why don't they lend us some or their subway-pushers to help deal with the metro-crowding problems that inevitably result. Metro commutes would be so much easier if instead of having hapless bystanders shove people into the cars there were trained professionals to do it.)
• Another sign of a tourist is a map (or guide book) that is being clutched between sweaty fingers while the person to whom the fingers belong deliberates over whether he should get off at La-Font (Le Enfant) plaza or Judi-see-ary (judiciary) square.
• Look for those that are proudly sporting fanny packs. These fashion accessories are a must have for any serious and committed tourist.

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profound thoughts on literature: Jane Eyre

There is the saying "into each life a little rain must fall", it seems that Jane Eyre is in a perpetual monsoon.

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