cherry blosson season=invasion of the tourists, a guide for next year

We are sitting in Metro Center a train that has been blocking out view moves out, and behold the sea of tourists! Yes, it's that time of year again, but as long as we have them here why not engage in a little game of tourist spotting.to aid you in your pursuit of this wholesome past-time I have a handy list entitled The Common Attributes Of Tourists.

THE COMMON ATTRIBUTES OF TOURISTS

• They will all stampede towards the middle two metro cars while avoiding the ones on the end like the plague because, as far as they are concerned, the plague is the very thing that the end cars are infested with. (As long as we're on the subject of metros I have a suggestion. The Japanese gave us the trees so, as long as the tree's blossoms are causing this invasion of tourists, why don't they lend us some or their subway-pushers to help deal with the metro-crowding problems that inevitably result. Metro commutes would be so much easier if instead of having hapless bystanders shove people into the cars there were trained professionals to do it.)
• Another sign of a tourist is a map (or guide book) that is being clutched between sweaty fingers while the person to whom the fingers belong deliberates over whether he should get off at La-Font (Le Enfant) plaza or Judi-see-ary (judiciary) square.
• Look for those that are proudly sporting fanny packs. These fashion accessories are a must have for any serious and committed tourist.

C'EST MA VIE