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It's China's new holiday, Queuing Day!!! This holiday is on 11th of every month, because the number represents a straight line. On the holiday, Queuing Day volunteers wear satin queuing day sashes and hand out gifts to people who line up. Doesn't this remind you a little bit of pre-school? the teacher says, it's recess! Que mad dash to the door, until the teacher comes up and dangles a little kiddy-sized bribe in front of the students faces. Maybe the true road to a more polite China is simply to deploy a highly trained arsenal of kindergarten teachers armed with hand puppets and sugar-packed snacks. If you line up you'll get a triple-sugar sweet-bombs deluxe choco blast munchy bite.This article got me thinking, if China has their own "special" holiday what can the US have? what about Having National Couch-potato Day? I think that it would be a holiday which resonates deeply in our souls and a lot of people would be really passionate about. The holiday would be held on the sixth of every month because the number illustrates an easy chair (see graphic). To celebrate you would gather the unhealthy beverage of your choice, several highly fatty and artificially colored and flavored snacks, put on stained sweats and a shirt which displays your voluptuous beer-belly to it's best advantage, and sit down for a day of extreme channel-changing and boob-tube watching. There will also be couch potato volunteers who will wear those baseball hats that have soda-can holders and straws and will hand out replacement TV remote batteries and also monitor Couch-potato Day participant's vital signs and bring in EMTs if there are signs of advanced vegetization. Of course, it doesn't have to be the sixth of the month for you to celebrate Couch-potato Day, you can celebrate any time!
An illustration of how the number six represents an easy chair
C'EST MA VIE
It's Jesus, the Messiah, son of God, the immaculate conception, and he drinks Coke! Such is the scene in an italian movie where an ad executive sees Jesus drinking a Coke and exclaims "my god what a testimonial". However, you will probably not be seeing this scene because Coke has refused this gift from above and have asked, well more like demanded, that the offending scene be removed from the movie saying that they "are not interested in this kind of product placement." Why would anyone not be interested in having Jesus represent their product? Having Jesus endorse your product is like having Dick Cheney endorse your shotgun, it's as good as it gets. By my reckoning Jesus is the most popular person in the world, closely followed by Mickey Mouse and Ronald McDonald, Jesus trumps everything. "You have Micheal Jordan, Angelina Jolie, Babe Ruth, and the soul of Anna-Nicole Smith? I have Jesus", and Jesus wins.C'EST MA VIE
