Let us take a brief moment to reminisce about ye olde P.E. classes. Remember games of dodge-ball, calisthenics, and rope climbing? Those activities have become relics of a forgotten past. Dodge-ball is a forbidden "contact sport," not even the gym teachers have the energy to make it through the calisthenics, and with the child obesity epidemic rope-climbing has been declared cruel and unusual punishment (of the ropes). "So" you ask "what kind of kinds of strenuous and challenging physical workouts are todays children being subjected to?" the short answer is that they aren't. Instead we have lessons in cup-stacking.
This means exactly what it says. We receive lessons in how to stack up plastic cups into various formations, as fast as we possible can. Maybe I am missing some hidden value, such as the fact that cup-stacking promotes a valuable skill which no one who doesn't have the right security clearance can know about. Or maybe we are being trained in manual dexterity so that we will be able to put together happy meals with extreme precision. But then again there is a much more obvious reason: our parents are promoting cup stacking because it trains us in the proper use of our fingers, a skill which will allow us to win 25,000 dollars in a text-messaging contest.
Another mark of this sport's absurdity is that one can purchase special cups online which come in their very own padded carrying case. Soon there will be display cases containing slivers of wood from "the tables I have stacked on."
that's all I have time for right now because I'm in training and those cups won't stack themselves.
C'EST MA VIE
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