Queuing day VS. Couch-potato Day

It's China's new holiday, Queuing Day!!! This holiday is on 11th of every month, because the number represents a straight line. On the holiday, Queuing Day volunteers wear satin queuing day sashes and hand out gifts to people who line up. Doesn't this remind you a little bit of pre-school? the teacher says, it's recess! Que mad dash to the door, until the teacher comes up and dangles a little kiddy-sized bribe in front of the students faces. Maybe the true road to a more polite China is simply to deploy a highly trained arsenal of kindergarten teachers armed with hand puppets and sugar-packed snacks. If you line up you'll get a triple-sugar sweet-bombs deluxe choco blast munchy bite.

This article got me thinking, if China has their own "special" holiday what can the US have? what about Having National Couch-potato Day? I think that it would be a holiday which resonates deeply in our souls and a lot of people would be really passionate about. The holiday would be held on the sixth of every month because the number illustrates an easy chair (see graphic). To celebrate you would gather the unhealthy beverage of your choice, several highly fatty and artificially colored and flavored snacks, put on stained sweats and a shirt which displays your voluptuous beer-belly to it's best advantage, and sit down for a day of extreme channel-changing and boob-tube watching. There will also be couch potato volunteers who will wear those baseball hats that have soda-can holders and straws and will hand out replacement TV remote batteries and also monitor Couch-potato Day participant's vital signs and bring in EMTs if there are signs of advanced vegetization. Of course, it doesn't have to be the sixth of the month for you to celebrate Couch-potato Day, you can celebrate any time!

An illustration of how the number six represents an easy chair

C'EST MA VIE